haiz.. recently i felt that the faith inside of me has been leaking.. little by little.. just within 2-3 weeks, i experienced a few times of night terror.. i detest the feeling as well as dread.. i dunno how to describe it, i felt that i lost it all. fear started to grip my heart. my dreams and visions started to fade away little by little. i need to pray and bind against it. i wanna end my year powerfully! i dunno who can understand it. i wan someone to talk to me about it, i wan someone to understand how i felt about it, i wan someone who can be there to face the battle with me, i wan someone to share God's visions and dreams with me, i wan someone to encourage me when i am down.
maybe i might sound a little emo by voicing it out, but sometimes tats what i felt in my heart. many times i felt negative, many times i felt fearful, many times i felt burdened, many times i felt frustrated, many times i felt lousy, many times i felt stressed, many times i do not know how to express myself, many times i said the wrong stuffs, many times i did the wrong thing, many times i am down and many times i felt like crying too.. tat's me as well.
out of the sudden, i just reminded about Pst Kong's preaching about David in the bible. a strong person is not just on the outside and also not afraid of letting others know your weaknesses. but is knowing your weaknesses well and overcome it. at least u are being yourself and know that this is how God created u to be and to overcome. i am nothing without God and i wan God to be my everything.
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